Nobody likes a smart-ass. A second order smart-ass even less. Yet  Appeal to Authority has to be the most common bogus argument floating about the cultural ether. I don’t have any solid numbers to back that up, but I read a lot, watch TV, and have a post-graduate degree.

If we are to continue using this argument, we should at least make an effort to better our odds of accidental correctness. When referring to an authority, please employ this reliability ranking, in order of  decreasing likelihood of making an accurate statement.

  1. Child under 3 years old
  2. Child between 3 and 6 years old
  3. Teacher of children 3-6 years old
  4. Game warden
  5. Nurse
  6. Journalist (print)
  7.  Journalist (visual media)
  8. PHD candidate
  9. University Professor
  10. PHD
  11. MD
  12. MD PHD
  13. Legal scholar
  14. High school kid
  15. TV talk show host
  16. FM radio pundit
  17. AM radio pundit
  18. Marketing consultant
  19. Politician
  20. Think tank Fellow
  21. Dennis Miller – the eternally flaccid penis of pseudo intellectualism

I will vouch for the validity of this ranking.

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